Today was one of those…heavy. heartbreaking.confusing. Beloved friends of ours found out recently that their seventh child , one year old , Loveth has Retinoblastoma. They, along with us have been petitioning the throne of grace for mercies and healing, healing that would allow Loveth to keep her eye. At 7:45 this morning precious baby Loveth had her eye removed. There really aren’t words to grasp onto the kind of emotion that a parent must endure to be so helpless as your flesh and blood, darling daughter undergoes such a thing. Heaviness, to say the least. When I had not heard from her this morning, I left a text saying, “I love you”….her response was, ” I am more than heavy, but I still choose to trust Him”. As I have been processing this today and carrying the burden with my dear sister I have been through so many emotions, as other times I haven’t seen healing on this earth. It is hard, really hard to find a place to put all of these life experiences that just don’t seem to line up..and leave us in a humbled and painful silence. It is hard, ONLY hard. We all experience our heartaches, losses and crushing of things we hold dear. Right? of course. God. God, where how can we endure these things and and not falter on the side of either pretending they don’t exist or living inside the hopelessness of an unquenchable and debilitating anger? I don’t really know….but I can tell you that the grace that carried me today was the perspective of eternity, just as it did when I suddenly lost my mother.
Eternity…that endless forever. That real unseen, that perhaps is more than the now and the here and that pain. That burning pain. That eternal forever that we will Rule and Reign, the all never-ending always where no darkness of hell or world dare tether to. That promise of morning light that never wanes into fading, where tears and half ways are dead to all living. That conquering victory…that FINAL BEGINNING into all things right and good that evaded some of the now time. Forever ours…to be. ~RULING and REIGNING ~ kings and queens