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Timeless

I do not mark things by time, or mile markers per say. It is not in my make up. I do not measure things or relate to them by time, and every time I am tempted to.. there lies this ever present truth that it is not reality. I always give myself such a hard time for not making a big deal out of new years and declaring all of these poignantly moving statements about my life. The truth is .. I do not care, new years does not matter to me in the slightest,  I do not feel a new resolve to change my ways…..if any thing at all, each new years I realize so much more definitively how desperate I am for the holy spirit and how incapable I truly am of making any change on my own, even trusting. If I could measure things by time I could say that in 2013 I lost my mother….but the truth is I will not remember this year in five years. 2013 defines nothing for me, although I will constantly live in the reality of my moms departure, it is not defined by time. My life, my soul state, my relating to god, my heart condition is always the marker, the reminder. The remembrance. Time can not hold me, as it can not hold my mother. Time can not define my memories, or my seeds sown. Earthly time can not bar the tides of sorrow or joy , nor can it release them. I am timeless..as I was always intended to be. I will say, that having the earthly lifeline, the umbilicus of your mother on earth severed in all earthy aspects has made eternity a much more tangible reality. I am giving myself permission to live outside of this finite dwelling…this tabernacle of restraint. I can feel the wing beneath my wings, the strength of god….the timeless conjuncture of birth, death, life, and absolute victory.. Heres to the new YEARS, the ongoing eternity in which we will all be changed, transformed beyond recognition. Cheers to timelessness. Be it .In all things.

 

 

Lingering in Love

My entire life shifted on the 14th of December as I got the news that my beloved mom left this world and went home to paradise. Unexpected, without a warning.  Not one word can adequately describe the gut wrenching experience of hearing the words that your mother is gone, for now, from here. No more kisses, no more voice, no more warm hugs and no more solace of the one and only. No more mother….for the rest of my earthly days. I still can hardly grasp it. The first thirty six hours I lay bound to my bed, unable to walk…my body toxic from adrenaline and shock, wondering will I ever be sure on my feet again. Will I be able to wake up, get out of the bed and tend to my family. Will I ever stop crying? It did not seem possible, not in the slightest. Then came the onslaught…..the extravagant grace that I could not have predicted. The strength to move and breath deeply. The joy that brought laughter from the core of my heart. The peace that over came my soul and tread down every notion of a grief without hope. He came, my saviour once again championed my heart, possibly even more tangibly  than the day of my salvation. So near to me, once again turning my mourning into dancing. Doing the miracle. I am still in awe of the depth of peace He has given me, the hope for eternity and the realness of His love. I am ravished. It is certain that I will miss my precious mom with every ounce of my being for my days on earth…and it is just as certain that will again be with her, to never again have to let go.

My mom grew up on Sullivans Island SC, the saturday after her departure we held a celebration of her life on the beach that she grew up on. It was so beautiful, in every way, as is she. The next day we walked out to the beach where I have spent so much of my life. The beach has always been a sort of tether in my soul to the presence of god, an anchor and a balm. Surprisingly, I have not spent very much time on the beach in the winter, even though I was there. This winter day met my soul with the most breathtaking of beauties. The fog was a pearlized iridescent that blanketed my soul. The thunderous motion of the sea did not escape me…my whole self was transcended into the in between the highway to that heaven. I felt my mom, gifting me sharing with me just a vapor of what she already had known and seen. It was truly glorious.

~we are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and to be home with the lord 2corinthians5:8

~everyone who lives in me will never ever die john11:26

~oh death, where is thy sting, oh grave, where is thy victory? 1corinthians15:55


My most beloved mother, gracious and fair.
I long to hold your hand with most delicate care.
Your tireless love and selfless affection is bound to my heart by an unending connection.
Your beautiful brown tresses, your fragrance and caresses. I will yearn for until my days have reached completion.
Your Everglades, emerald eyes of green
Your compassion and understanding on so much I leaned.
Your love removed the deepest of fetters from my heart war torn, battered and weathered.
No other love will I know of this kind,the well that only you filled will empty over my lifetime.
But forever I will have you on what day I do not know, you will meet me with your heart full and aglow.
I will grasp you so tightly, fiercely and mightily. I will savor your voice an immortal chorus.
I will have you again, to never to let go, I will have you forever this I most assuredly know.
Until then, my heart on fire it burns, with your love and your memory, and lessons learned.
My most precious woman, the lady of my heart… Inside of your being god gave my life it’s start.
Your nurture and care and shelter from dismay.. You carried me safely and so I am here today.
Carried by love
Bound by devotion
A mother heart you gave me, a most treasured possession.
I will take from you every beautiful thing and adorn my heart and let your melody sing.
My love teacher, my very best friend, my soul sister my most beloved of kin.
My darling mother..you have ravished my heart and graced me golden.
I’ll meet you in paradise, that endless heaven.
I’ll have you forever I am convinced and I know.
Wait for me while you dwell in your everlasting HOME.
I’ll be missing you deeply as I live out my days.
Your heart I will carry, my queen , always.
I love you.
SEE YOU SOON.

MY WildScouts

 

These are three of my four, adventure seeking, nature loving WildScouts…Wilder, Arrow and Yaden (Scout.not pictured). These four souls have inspired me so deeply…they are fearless, like their daddy. On an average day you can find them dwelling among the tree tops at about twenty feet, literally..swinging from branch to branch one armed, building fires, catching bees..etc… They are wild, absolutely free from the reality of their physical limits. They take the breath of most people that get the experience of watching them in action. Undoubtedly, they cause your heart to skip a beat with their fearless explorations. I have had parents look at me as if  I am crazy for the risks I let them take….but guess what? I would not do it any other way…they were created for pushing the limits…boundlessly conquering the wind, wood and water. They are more brave than I, beyond a doubt. Sure, they give me a heart thundering race of adrenaline as I watch them…but I breath and I trust. I want them to know adventure, to be familiar with the bark beneath their grasp or the rock underfoot.. and they are. Surefooted. They have stretched me, challenged me and changed me, for the better. We were made for each other.

Here are a few of their favorite things….

Yaden~ reptiles. amphibians. insects. trapping. beach combing. fishing. drawing. drums. jungles. rainforest. animal bones, camping.

Arrow~ leaves. birds. painting. climbing. mountains. swimming. gymnastics. camping. singing. babies, flowers. plants. feathers. holiday feasts. fishing.

Wilder~ bears. guns. knives. fire. lighters. scissors. jeeps and any other deadly thing.

Scout~ music. milk.

 

 

 

Carson HagerNovember 23, 2013 - 8:39 pm

Hey! Your pictures are inspiring. I’m a journalist major with a photography minor freshman at the fabulous App State. I was wondering if you lived anywhere close to Charlotte, NC where I could watch you take a photoshoot with your children? If not, do you have any tips for a wanna be photojournalist?

suzanneNovember 23, 2013 - 10:55 pm

not bad Melinda. not bad at all. 😉

Brittney StasiNovember 24, 2013 - 3:28 am

Simply wild and courages!! Every bit! Where did you get the outfits!? Thank you for the inspiration!

Daniel FloresNovember 24, 2013 - 5:30 pm

This is just spectacular set! I’m just wondering if this is all natural lighting, if it is, then it must have been a perfect break of light where they stood! I can almost feel the texture of the costumes and nature through your images. Blessings.
Daniel

Lauren MorganNovember 29, 2013 - 9:02 pm

I feel like if I encountered this brood in the wild, I would trust them with my life. They are surely beautiful and spirited.

Forever, I love You.

 

To my most darling dear, my Arrow of life…..if  by chance or most formidable design, our vessels must part before our desired time.

I love you deeply, beyond the extraordinary ,into the chasms of an eternity…and moreover there are things I desire you to know, were I to miss the life that you grow.

I can not fully place words on these truths, that inside of my being you are always infused.

The fade of your voice and life from your heart will linger and live, in death they will not depart.

The outline of your exuberant face, gentle lines, the form of your shadowing grace.

I love you completely, that not thing or kind could alter this care..this love that I pine.

You have given me beyond new perspective..you have caressed my heart, redirected.

Changed my path, the reality inside..with your sense of compassion and gaze from your eyes.

I can not imagine an existence where you are naught…. forever embedded a part of this heart.

Darling daughter, my hope and love for all time…never underestimate the power of being kind.

I have no doubt that you will prosper in fullness,  permeated  you are,  guileless.

I gaze upon you everyday….I think thoughts that I do not say.

I lay upon my pillow as you burn ablaze.. living in my being always being praised.

I am proud to say, an insufficient thing, I am bursting with honor that only humility  brings.

I am humbled beyond recognition..your prescence reminds, that there is no condition.

Deserve you, I do not, yet given I was…..entrusted, as I am failing and still not enough….. you are the grace that forbodes His endless assault, mercy and love, no matter my fault.

vickieNovember 20, 2013 - 2:15 am

These are all so beautiful!!

lizNovember 23, 2013 - 9:06 pm

your work and words are beautiful. stunning in every manner. i’m so glad I discovered you from jess! I find your work very inspiring.

xo
liz
Yellow Finch
Babiekins

MadisonNovember 26, 2013 - 7:30 pm

I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it

mbrownforever@gmail.comNovember 27, 2013 - 1:39 am

Hi Liz!! Thanks you so much!! I am so glad also:) looking so forward to connecting!
Thanks for the love

Our Halloween Tradition

Halloween is one of my favorites, seriously I just love it!  As a child I would wait for my mom to get home from work every Halloween and look so forward to dressing up and trick or treating…..it is one of my favorite memories. We had such a fun time, laughing at my costumes, observing all of the other trick or treaters, walking TOGETHER amidst the crisp, cold Fall night air. Fall also happens to be my favorite, the rustling of leaves beneath our feet and newly bare tree branches backlit by the moon certainly helped foster my affection for that night that I so eagerly anticipated all year. I believe the thing that made it the most dear to my heart was the togetherness of that night for my mom and I. A plan to be TOGETHER. Something that without a doubt would happen. A tradition.

I can not think of a thing I do not LOVE about the Fall…honestly. Pumpkins. Apples. Halloween. Camping. Mountains. Fog. The Moon. Thankgiving. Leaves. Mums. The Fall is perfect…resting, refreshing, cleansing….it makes me feel washed clean as if I have a new slate. Fresh. UNEMCUMBERED.

The Fall has always brought to my soul, on the crisp wings of its wind….the sense of unemcumbrance.

Thanks to a precious, benevolent and beautiful friend we, as a family have had a mountain haven for the past seven years. We spend much of our summer weekends there and have made it a Halloween tradition for the past five years. It has been our home away from home, our solace at many times. This particular Halloween was so perfect…..full of fog and the leaves at their peak. Absolutely perfect. On this trip we also went mining and visited the nature center before we walked the botanical gardens……

I hope our children remember the traditions. The TOGETHERNESS.

* also….having a tree farm (christmas) has always been a dream of mine, so Russell took me on a ride through Frasier Fir heaven on our way home.