I do not mark things by time, or mile markers per say. It is not in my make up. I do not measure things or relate to them by time, and every time I am tempted to.. there lies this ever present truth that it is not reality. I always give myself such a hard time for not making a big deal out of new years and declaring all of these poignantly moving statements about my life. The truth is .. I do not care, new years does not matter to me in the slightest, I do not feel a new resolve to change my ways…..if any thing at all, each new years I realize so much more definitively how desperate I am for the holy spirit and how incapable I truly am of making any change on my own, even trusting. If I could measure things by time I could say that in 2013 I lost my mother….but the truth is I will not remember this year in five years. 2013 defines nothing for me, although I will constantly live in the reality of my moms departure, it is not defined by time. My life, my soul state, my relating to god, my heart condition is always the marker, the reminder. The remembrance. Time can not hold me, as it can not hold my mother. Time can not define my memories, or my seeds sown. Earthly time can not bar the tides of sorrow or joy , nor can it release them. I am timeless..as I was always intended to be. I will say, that having the earthly lifeline, the umbilicus of your mother on earth severed in all earthy aspects has made eternity a much more tangible reality. I am giving myself permission to live outside of this finite dwelling…this tabernacle of restraint. I can feel the wing beneath my wings, the strength of god….the timeless conjuncture of birth, death, life, and absolute victory.. Heres to the new YEARS, the ongoing eternity in which we will all be changed, transformed beyond recognition. Cheers to timelessness. Be it .In all things.